


The Boy

by WonMyNihilist



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Casual, Fluffy, Friendship, Gotta get some drama in there TT, Growing up is a pain, M/M, School, Slice of Life, they start off still in primary school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 03:12:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12202752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonMyNihilist/pseuds/WonMyNihilist
Summary: 8-year-old Hanbin is a timid little boy who doesn’t really play with the other kids. He’s distant and quiet, but finds a friend in Jiwon.





	1. Chapter 1

Perhaps it wasn’t a meadow of beautiful flowers filled with many different kinds, but it was.. well, it was something. Hanbin walked outside with his Mickey Mouse plush and watched as the other kids would play around together. It was nice to see them laughing and chasing each other around the playground. Some kids would play on the slides and swings, and others would play soccer because the basketball hoop was too high and they were all short little 8-year-olds. 

He held his plush tightly against his chest as he stayed under the shade of a big tree. He didn’t think that it bore any fruits, but then again, he never learned about what plants could and couldn’t. All he could do was watch quietly and wished that he could join.

Everyone seemed to have their own little group of friends, and he was the odd one out. The only friend he did have had been sick for a few days now, and he didn’t know where he was. Hanbin asked his mother to take him to wherever that friend lived, but apparently not all mothers are friends with each other. 

The bell soon rang and he followed everyone else back inside their classroom. He sat at a table with one other kid named Jaewon, and he could talk to him sometimes. But Hanbin always thought that he liked the other kids more.

The teacher, Miss Jaeyoung, arrived shortly after they had all settled; or at least as much calmness a class of 8-year-olds could manage. They started doing some Math work despite everyone’s frequent shows of distaste towards them. 

For the most part, multiplication wasn’t as difficult as it was a month ago. He didn’t study that much at home, so he made sure to pay attention during class. Hanbin hated coming home and telling his mother he got a bad score, so he tried. 

Lunch time arrived and he took his boxed lunch out of his backpack. They weren’t allowed to eat in class, so he reluctantly headed for the cafeteria where everyone else crowded. He didn’t have a friend to sit with, so he sat by himself at the edge of a table.

“Hey, could i join you?” The voice was cheerful and the owner of the voice was just as. Hanbin nodded timidly before the other boy climbed onto the seat across from  
him and opened up his boxed lunch as well.

The boy was wearing something similar to him; white shirt with an animal print on it with shorts up to his knees. The only thing different was that Hanbin had a plaid red shirt on as well as the other stuff. Their hair was a bit messy, too, which wasn’t uncommon if they played outside a lot.

“I’m Jiwon, by the way.” The boy offered his hand out for him to shake, but Hanbin was too shy to touch him, so he kept to himself. He looked embarrassed that Hanbin didn’t do it, though, and looked down at his own sandwich, which made him feel a bit bad. 

They ate in silence for the longest time before Hanbin was ready to pack up and probably go to the little library at the back of their classroom. They technically had a room as a proper library, but he was always too scared to enter it.

Hanbin carefully got off his seat and dragged his lunch box down. “Hey!” He heard the boy’s voice again. Hanbin never gave him his name, so it was probably awkward for him to call him, if he was even calling him at all. He doubted it, so he just kept walking all the way out of the cafeteria.

“Hey, wait for me!” Hanbin stopped and turned around just as the boy caught up with him, and was now standing right beside him. “Do you want to play together?” The boy asked with such a bright and friendly smile, but Hanbin was still scared.

“N-No, thanks.” He quickly managed to mutter out before retreating into the safety of his classroom. Hanbin put his lunch box away and sat at his desk for a few minutes simply watching the clock tick by. His heart was beating quite rapidly as he pressed his hand against his chest, and so he closed his eyes and slowly started counting to twenty. 

。。。

A week flew by and his friend Donghyuk wasn’t sick anymore. They played with each other during recess like usual, although sometimes they would just read books at their desks. Time with Donghyuk was always nice and peaceful to Hanbin. 

“Hanbin, i have to help Miss Jaeyoung after lunch. I’ll see you after school, okay?” Donghyuk informed him and he nodded in understanding. He realized that Donghyuk was a teacher’s pet. He would always offer to help Miss Jaeyoung, tell her she looks pretty and, if it counts, do all his assigned homework correctly. 

Hanbin didn’t bring his Mickey Mouse plush with him that day. His mother said that he should stop doing that because it will get dirty faster, so he was now scribbling on a piece of origami paper he originally bought for art class. 

The classroom was quiet as he glanced outside and saw all his classmates play in the playground. He didn’t mind it.. Maybe.. At least he wasn’t getting hurt and crying because he fell down. 

“What are you drawing?” Someone asked out of the blue, which startled Hanbin so much that he dropped his pencil. When trying to pick it up, someone else got to it first and placed it back on his desk. 

Hanbin looked up and saw Jiwon. He still had a smile on his face, but it was a little less enthusiastic. Typically, he would hide his drawings immediately, but he left it as it was and whispered, “a dog”. Or at least tried to make it look like one.

He looked at Jiwon’s face. It seemed like he was contemplating it with all his brain power. Maybe his drawing was so bad that the boy was trying to see ‘the dog’.

“It’s really cute.” The boy finally said, and turned to smile at him. This time, the smile was brighter; similar to how he last saw it, and Hanbin got a bit shy. 

There was silence between for God knows how long, and even the clock’s ticking couldn’t be any slower. Hanbin looked everywhere else except at the boy, but he felt like the boy was doing the complete opposite. 

Hanbin didn’t like being looked at, especially for so long. He felt like he was a goldfish, alone in his circular tank. He didn’t say or do anything, though. Maybe Jiwon would think he was dead and leave, like what some of those animals do on television.

“Do you wanna read this?” The boy handed him a book. It was one of his favorite ones, ‘The Great Big Treasury of Beatrix Potter’, because it was a collection of many different fables starring different animals with illustrations. It was plain white with six animals on the cover. It would be a book cover he would recognize a mile away.

Hanbin timidly accepted it and put it on the table, replacing the origami paper. From the corner of his eye, he saw Jiwon come around and sit beside him. For now, he wasn’t going to worry about it, so he opened the book onto a random page.

“The Tale Of Benjamin Bunny” Jiwon read out loud before Hanbin could. He flipped the page and started reading in his head. Reading was easy to him. He learned to read before his teachers taught him because he read to his sick father a lot. 

Jiwon would comment on the illustrations of the rabbits and chuckles would escape him at every page, not like there were a lot. “Cotton-tail! Cotton-tail!” The boy would read out the dialogue rather than the descriptions. Hanbin read them to himself, so he didn’t mind. “I like Flopsy.” He would say, but all the bunnies looked so alike, cept the ones that had clothes on.

They continued to read through the other stories, taking most of their time reading the bunny-related ones. Jiwon seemed to take a liking to them. Whenever he would smile, he would show his teeth, and they kind of looked like a rabbit’s. Hanbin found that amusing and giggled once he realized it.

“Hey, you laughed!” The boy cheered at the action, which made Hanbin blush and flip the page. “I wasn’t finished reading..” Jiwon pouted at that, which made Hanbin giggle again before flipping it back. “Are we friends now?” Hanbin was taken aback by the question, but he just nodded soon after with a soft smile to his lips.

。。。

Hanbin found out that Jiwon was actually in another classroom, that’s why he never saw him in his own. He would visit, but every time he would get close, the noise would always be too much for him. The kids there seemed to be even louder than his own.

The two would read stories in Hanbin’s classroom during recess. Jiwon would make Hanbin laugh whenever he tries to make up voices for the characters or act silly. He found a friend in Jiwon quicker than he had anticipated.

Hanbin found out that Jiwon couldn’t read as well as he could, so that’s why he would always read the dialogue over anything else. So Hanbin read to him and taught him how to read some other words he didn’t know.

They would sometimes act as the characters and put on their own little shows with only the two of them. The stories they read never had that many characters, so they were manageable for two 8-year-olds.

Hanbin found out that Jiwon also had a plush toy that he liked to carry around. It was a bright yellow Winnie the Pooh he got from his older brother, “So technically, Pooh is my hyung!” They shared a laugh at that.

The two would bring their plushies to school and have ‘them’ play with each other. They would stay in character until the end of the day then laugh about it when they say goodbye.

Hanbin found out that Jiwon’s favorite food was pizza, so he would ask his mother to pack pizza for lunch sometimes to share with Jiwon. “It’s soooo good! I wish my mom would give me pizza for lunch, too!” Hanbin smiled as he ate with his friend.

。。。

“Hanbin, why don’t you invite your whole class for your birthday party? How many kids are there?” His mother asked him as she was making dinner and he was coloring in a bunny picture.

“There are fifteen kids in my class, but i want to invite one more from another class! His name is Jiwon. We play together a lot during recess.” He informed as he picked out an orange crayon to color in the carrot. 

“Okay, baby. I’ll get the invitations ready, and you can give it to your friends.” Hanbin nodded excitedly as he finished up his picture. He had all the colors inside the lines and it just looked really clean and pretty to him.

Hanbin carefully cut the page out of his animal coloring book and put it inside his school folder so that he could give it to Jiwon along with his birthday invitation.

。。。

_Screaming._

All he could hear was screaming. It wasn’t much different to his classroom on a regular school day, but it was somehow louder now that they were all at a family restaurant that had an indoor playground, including a ball-pit, to celebrate his birthday.

“Happy birthday, Hanbin!” One of his classmates wished him and gave him a nicely wrapped present. Hanbin thanked him and put the gift on the gift table. He was going to be a bit busy that night, with about ten presents to open. 

“Happy birthday! I got you a race car.” Another kid said as he handed him his gift. His, who seemed like, brother nudged the boy, “You aren’t supposed to tell him what you got!” The same boy quickly gasped and covered his mouth, but the deed had been done and Hanbin laughed softly at the mistake.

The party went alright for the most part. Hanbin ate a lot of cake and pizza, but he was sure that it was all gone when the party ended. He spent most of his time with Donghyuk in the ball-pit just throwing plastic balls at each other. 

。。。

“Hey Jiwon!” Hanbin called out from across the hallway. “Jiwon!” He called once more, and the boy finally turned towards him. His expression was nervous at first but soon softened once they were closer. 

“Hi.” Jiwon said blankly as he turned his gaze to the floor and readjusted his backpack strap. It had Pooh sticking out of it, so it wasn’t entirely zipped up. 

“Why didn’t you come to my birthday party?” Hanbin sounded hurt, and he was. “I had so much pizza for you! You wouldn’t even be able to finish it!” He said with a hearty laugh. 

Jiwon tried to laugh, too. Emphasis on ‘tried’. He looked all nervous again, and Hanbin was getting worried. “Hey, are you sick?” The boy shook his head, still avoiding his gaze. “Jiwon, it’s okay you couldn’t come to my party. Don’t be sad.” Hanbin nudged his shoulder lightly, trying to get the boy to look at him.

Jiwon soon smiled softly then looked back up at him. “I didn’t have a present for you, so i was too scared to come.” He looked down at his shoes this time and Hanbin frowned. He was about to respond when the boy spoke again. “I’m sorry. Happy birthday, though.” 

Hanbin smiled again at the birthday wish. “Don’t worry about it, Jiwon. Thank you.” Jiwon soon flashed him one of those big smiles that caused the boy’s eyes to disappear into crescents and his bunny-like teeth to stick out like a sore thumb. “Wanna play?” 

Jiwon nodded as they turned to head for Hanbin’s classroom, like they usually did. “Did you bring any leftover pizza?” 

He laughed at the question, because yes, he did. He brought one just for him because he had so much that day that he couldn’t eat another for a long time. Hanbin took out his lunch box from his backpack and gave it to the boy to then open and eat. Jiwon was always happy whenever he ate pizza.


	2. Chapter 2

“Jaewon, can i borrow your scissors please? Someone took mine and hadn’t given it back yet.” Hanbin asked kindly. He was getting along better with the other boy, thinking that he had broken out of his shyness a little more.

“Sure.” He took out his blue-colored scissors out of his backpack and handed it over by the sharp edge. “Who took your scissors?” He asked just before putting away his colored markers.

“June. I should’ve known better. He never even gave back my ruler from last month.” He sulked a fair amount of time because of that, and he didn’t want to be ‘that guy’ and ask for it back. He saw it every now and then being used, after all. Maybe he just needed it for a little longer.

“I’ll ask him for it later.” Jaewon said suddenly, which surprised Hanbin, but all he did was say thank you anyway. 

“Class, your teacher won’t be here for a while because she came down with the flu. Until further notice, you will be getting a substitute teacher starting tomorrow. Please behave yourselves. Thank you.” 

The majority of the classroom cheered as the lady left the room. This was their last period for the day, so he wasn’t too concerned himself. It was slightly odd to still leave a bunch of 10-year-olds in class unsupervised, though.

“You think we could go home early then?” He heard someone say from the other side of the room.

“My mom’s not here yet, how are we supposed to leave?” Another responded in a slightly nervous tone.

Just a moment later, he saw June walk out of the classroom with a bag slung over one shoulder. He left so easily that the rest of the class apparently found it amazing and followed suit.

“How irresponsible! You’re going to get in trouble!” He heard Donghyuk shout from beside him. “There are still teachers outside, so you’ll get caught!” He continued, like the good little class president he was.

“Just make sure to run. They won’t be able to catch all of you.” Jaewon commented win a grin. Hanbin looked at him with furrowed brows and Donghyuk practically flared at him as the majority of the classroom packed up and headed out the door.

“You idiot.” Donghyuk whispered as he rubbed his temples in great displeasure. A 10-year-old shouldn’t look this stressed out, so Hanbin chuckled, earning himself a similar glare to his friend’s.

Hanbin, not wanting to get on Donghyuk’s bad side, waited out the rest of the period with him. He made sure Jaewon wasn’t running off early either. There were only about three other students who stayed in class, although not doing much. 

The bell finally rang and Hanbin walked out like any other day. He headed for one of those unused club rooms that him and Jiwon ended up finding refuge in. 

Hanbin threw his backpack on one of the tables and sat down. He pulled out a rubik's cube he had only recently acquired while playing at the arcade and started to attempt to put it together while waiting for his friend to arrive.

“Hey, I’m here!” Jiwon’s voice echoed around the room which quickly caught Hanbin’s attention and made him look up with a smile. “Sorry for being late. The teacher wouldn’t stop talking about this photosynthesis project we have to do next week. We all have to bring a live plant and do some experiments on it for the entire week.” He explained as he plopped down on a chair opposite of him with a deep sigh. 

Jiwon threw his backpack on the table similar to how Hanbin did earlier and laid his head on it as if it were a pillow. Hanbin smiled regardless as he listened and loosely concentrated on the cube. “He specifically said a ‘green’ plant which isn’t a cactus. He told us that if the plant is green, then it does photosynthesis. So why can’t we bring a cactus?” Jiwon continued to complain about the cactus issue as he watched Hanbin try to solve the rubik’s cube. 

After two faces of the cube had been done, he was stuck. He wasn’t sure what to do next without ruining his progress so far. “It’s so stupid. I love science but I hate science class.” Jiwon groaned into his backpack and Hanbin chuckled in response. 

“Hey, don’t laugh at my problems.” He said in a serious tone, but meant it jokingly, so they just laughed together this time.

“Now that you’re done ranting about a cactus you haven’t even bought yet, let’s go get some ice cream.” Hanbin said as he stuffed the cube into his backpack and swung it over his shoulder, getting up and heading for the door.

“You have enough money?” Jiwon scrambled to catch up with his abrupt movement.

“Why do I have to pay for you all the time?” He whined, but he always ended up paying for the boy every time. It wasn’t like he was getting an extra allowance to pay for the extra mouth, but he always had just enough money for Jiwon.

。。。

There was a cultural festival happening that day and Hanbin wasn’t running any booths or anything, but he did help some of his classmates decorate theirs. He didn’t want to deal with all that work when he was specifically given the option ‘not’ to participate and just have fun.

The event started at three in the afternoon and lasted through the evening. He didn’t know exactly when it would end, but there were a couple parents around to supervise them as the number of teachers they had in total probably couldn’t cover enough ground.

A lot of the student-run booths were food-related, but there were some games still provided the the hard-working teachers. Hanbin silently wondered if they were there because they wanted to, or they got paid overtime somehow.

One of his classmates, Jennie, came up to him abruptly with a grin. “Hanbin! Visit our booth later, okay? We’re going to serve hamburgers and French fries!” She said cheerfully, which Hanbin returned with an equally as enthusiastic ‘of course!’ before he watched her skip away to inform other students.

Another kid handed him a flyer to visit their booth, but didn’t say anything to him. He read the flyer, clearly made with Microsoft Word, and saw that they were going to serve an assortment of homemade cookies. An emphasis on ‘homemade’. 

“They’re definitely bought though, you know that, right?” Hanbin jumped at the voice, turning to see that it was only Jiwon, who was a little too close, might he add. He chuckled and swung an arm around his shoulder. “We’ll change and meet up at the playground at five, okay? They should all be ready with their junk by then.” Hanbin nodded, then was met with a finger gun and a wink before Jiwon dashed off.

That evening, Hanbin wore his baby blue sweater, with a little bird stitched on the top left he thought was cute, and just denim shorts that reached his knees since he liked that his dark blue converse high tops stuck out. 

Hanbin’s mother gave him about thirty dollars to spend, which was about double the amount he would normally get. He figured because he was a little older now, so he would be more responsible with it. He assumed that it would all be gone because he would be spending it all on Jiwon in the end.

It was five on the dot, and he didn’t expect Jiwon to come on time, so he was prepared to wait on one of the swings. He swung himself, all alone in the playground as he watched as more lights begun to shine in the distance. He knew where Donghyuk and Jennie’s booths were, so he had enough time to get to them later. Hopefully he would have the stomach space to eat everything, though. 

Hanbin rarely wore watches, but his mother made him wear it that night so that he would have no excuse but to come home on time. He sighed as he watched the ticker pass by twelve. He watched his watch tick by for a whole minute. It had officially been an hour.

“Hanbin?” He heard someone say his name and he looked up immediately, thinking it was Jiwon. To his dismay, it was only June. He had a hotdog in his hand and a can of coke in his other. He was alone, too. “What are you doing out here? I knew you had no friends, but this is just.. sad.” June wasn’t a bully. He was a bit rude to him sometimes, but he wasn’t a bully. 

“Where’s Jaewon? Finally smart enough to ditch your sorry ass, huh?” Hanbin stayed quiet, looked at the sand beneath his feet as his swing swung slowly with the wind. “Ah, your girlfriend Jennie’s been lookin’ for you. Guess she wants to break up with you for good.” He snorted out for the last time before he disappeared since he wasn’t getting a reaction out of him.

Hanbin started to write ‘Jiwon’ in the sand with his foot, not even realizing that he was crying. He told him to come and meet him at the playground, so why wasn’t he here yet? It was almost seven and he wasn’t here.

He kept waiting. However, as soon as it officially hit seven, he felt really hungry. He decided to at least get some food before he went home. The event was as lively as ever, but he didn’t have anyone to have fun with like everybody else. He saw June back at wherever they sold hotdogs and went the opposite direction. 

Hanbin had his hands inside his pockets, and even though he wore a sweater, it was still cold. He could only allow his own body warm him up as he headed for Jennie’s booth. 

“Oh my God, Hanbin, you came!” He was greeted by the delighted Jennie as soon as he came into view. He flashed the girl a soft smile as he watched her bounce up and down. “I thought you wouldn’t come, but I’m so glad you did!” She was so enthusiastic. She was always so enthusiastic about everything, and he really admired her for it.

“Hi, Jennie. I hope I’m not too late.” He went up to the booth officially and scanned the handwritten menu that was pasted on the board. Other than the previously mentioned hamburgers and fries, there were chili dogs and sloppy joes. He was actually rather impressed. 

“No, not at all!” She answered happily. “Except the fries.” She added shortly after. “And the sloppy joes.” She looked at him with such a bright smile. Hanbin stopped scanning the menu and looked at the girl expectantly, wondering if she was going to tell him that the whole menu was actually all gone.

However, that was all she said, thankfully, so all he had to do left was order either a hamburger or chili dog. He pondered for a moment before finally requesting a chili dog. “Jennie?” He didn’t get a response, so he waved his hand in front of her. Was she sleeping with her eyes open? He’s heard about those before, and it was really creepy, especially since Jennie was practically staring right at him.

Jennie suddenly snapped back into reality and apologized, promising the chili dog in ‘just a moment’. Hanbin took out his money in the meantime and readied the exact change since he didn’t want her to struggle for it herself.

Hanbin watched as the girl scrambled to get everything together for him. Two of her friends came back moments later, asking her why she was so flustered, but she told them that she was okay.

About a minute later, she came back with his chili dog, all perfect and clean in its paper container. “Uhm.. It’s on the House!” She said as she slid the money back to him. “I hope you enjoy the food! And come again!” Hanbin was flustered himself, but couldn’t really do anything but accept the returned money and awkwardly walked away after thanking her.

Hanbin soon found Donghyuk’s booth by the time half his chili dog was eaten. It was packed with neat little trinkets to purchase. Or purchased, as most of them looked to be sold already. The boy was smiling from ear to ear as he tried to get the rest of his ‘shop’ sold out.

“Hi, Donghyuk. Business seems to be going well.” He remarked, and instead of a happy greeting, he quickly got scolded for having the chili dog too close to the merchandise. Hanbin laughed and finished his food before re-entering the ‘Donghyuk zone’.

“That’s better. And yes, I’ve almost sold everything. Been working on them for months, and I’m happy to see them being appreciated by people other than my mother.” Hanbin chuckled at that, earning him a slide glare.

“Well, cool. Am I allowed to buy something?” He was already scanning the remaining items for something he could be interested in. 

“Yeah, but no discounts. You’re a customer here, not a friend.” 

“That’s mean.” He scrunched his face, but was honestly okay with it, as long as it wasn’t terribly expensive. Thankfully, it wasn’t. They were really only a few dollars, and the items were really pretty.

Hanbin ended up buying a little keychain of a hand-carved bird and two similar-looking bracelets made with rope-like material with ‘festival’ written on it. Even if he was upset with Jiwon for not coming, he bought them anyway. 

“Who’s the other bracelet for?” Donghyuk asked as he was getting him a paper bag to put the items in. 

“My best friend, Jiwon. We’ve been friends for so long. I thought you knew.” 

Donghyuk put the items in the bag and accepted the money from Hanbin. “I never met him. You should introduce us then. Maybe I’ve already met him, but didn’t know his name.” 

“Yeah, that sounds like you.” He took the bag from the boy and dug into it to take out one of the bracelets, wearing it right away. “Thanks, Donghyuk. See you!” He flashed him a smile and a wave before disappearing once again into the crowd.


	3. Chapter 3

“Where’s Jiwon?” He would ask every so often. All he would get in response was ‘i don’t know’ or ‘i don’t care’. He had always thought that Jiwon was liked by his classmates, but then again, he was always with him. “Do you know where Jiwon is?”

He felt like a lost puppy. It took him a couple weeks for him to actually enter Jiwon’s classroom and ask someone. He probably should’ve asked sooner, because maybe they just forgot where he went. Was Jiwon avoiding him? He didn’t get to see him for over two months now. Holidays were so boring without Jiwon to play with. 

Hanbin leaned against the wall right next to his classroom door as he waited for Jiwon to come by like he did every recess. But he would never show. He would wait all recess and lunch and sometimes after school around the entrance for Jiwon, but he would never show. He would sit in that club room for a couple hours studying or coloring until the janitor would tell him to go home.

Hanbin hadn’t brought his Mickey Mouse plush to school in almost two years, but started to find himself hugging it tighter the longer he was there waiting. His mother would tell him to stop, just like she did in third grade, but under a different reason: ‘you’re too old for dolls’. 

Some kids would pass him by and ask him to play now, but Hanbin would decline more often than not. The teachers looked the same, and acted the same. Nothing really changed besides the fact that he could never find Jiwon anymore. Where did his best friend go?

。。。

“Hanbin, help me carry these books, please. They’re so heavy.” Donghyuk asked him just before he could leave the classroom. He reluctantly turned on his heel and went to help the poor soul. Sometimes it felt like Miss Jaeyoung was taking advantage of him. How could he possibly be able to carry all those books to the next building over? 

“Why can’t she do this herself? She’s the teacher.” Hanbin asked as he took half the stack, while contemplating why ‘he’ was actually agreeing to this.

“Exactly.” That was all he got in response as he led Hanbin out of the classroom and down the hallway. He could only just barely see the tip of Donghyuk’s head, so he caught up a little to see him better. He wasn’t exactly looking where he was going, because he couldn’t, so he ended up falling behind constantly.

Hanbin didn’t have to look to know that it was raining. It wasn’t raining cats and dogs, but he could tell that it was just starting to pick up. He wanted to hurry and get this done because being wet in his sweater was very uncomfortable.

As soon as they got outside of the building, he heard someone’s voice. It was laced with enthusiasm and cheer. “Hey! Hey, over here!” Hanbin looked around and unfortunately knocked into someone, causing the two of them to fall over.

“Clumsy.” The voice said. Hanbin looked up and saw Jiwon on the ground, rubbing his head just as he was. They were surrounded by the very books he was entrusted to carry alongside Donghyuk. “Guess you couldn’t see me though, shortie.” He laughed. Hanbin missed that laugh.

Hanbin was too stunned to say anything and started crying. He hadn’t seen Jiwon in so long and he had all these books around him, which were probably getting soaking wet. He didn’t even hide his tears as they were mixing with the rain.

Jiwon went wide-eyed and leaned forward, attempting to wipe away his tears, although it was obviously not going to help. But it kind of did. It reassured Hanbin that Jiwon was there and he wasn’t just seeing things. He continued to cry for the longest time as Jiwon stacked up all the books for him.

“We’re getting so wet. Let’s hurry up and go inside.” Jiwon, voice laced with concern, tried to balance the books in his arms and lead Hanbin inside at the same time, which he kind of failed to do since those books were really heavy. Even though Jiwon was always stronger than he was, it was still a bit much.

Once they finally got inside, Jiwon set the books down on the floor near the entrance and told Hanbin that he was going to find a towel somewhere. Hanbin was still crying, but he nodded in understanding and the boy was off.

Moments later, when Hanbin was a little calmer, his blurry vision caught hold of a pair of feet running towards him. “Hanbin? Are you okay?” The voice sounded like they were in a panic. The person stook him a few times, seemingly afraid to shake harder than they needed to. “Hanbin? What happened? Hanbin?”

。。。

Opening his eyes was easy enough. It was only when he tried to get up where he started to feel dizzy. His vision was still as blurry as he vaguely remembered. He felt like he had water in his ears, which annoyed him enough to make him hit his own head while tilting it to the side to get it out. It was a bad idea.

Hanbin screamed out in pain as a headache proceeded to develop. Or perhaps it was always there and he made it worse. Either way, his screaming apparently called in some people in white, and he was left wondering what sins he had committed in his brief lifetime.

He soon felt a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him down to lay back on the bed. It wasn’t the coziest bed, he realized, but it was something. It certainly wasn’t his own. There was muffled speech and whatever he saw wasn’t helpful in the slightest, so he kept his eyes closed as he hoped that the headache would go away. 

A slight sting on his left arm made him wince, but it only disappeared shortly after as all he found himself in was darkness.

。。。

“He’ll recover soon, Mrs Kim. Not to worry.” The sound of a sigh followed. It seemed very resigned, or was he mistaking that for relief? “Please make sure that Hanbin is taking his medication on time. And these two in particular are ‘before’ he eats.”

“Yes, doctor.” The sound of a door opening and closing closely followed.

Hanbin knew he was awake. He definitely was. This situation was similar to how he would be in the morning when he doesn’t want to get up, but his brain is already gearing itself up for the day. He called it a personal betrayal.

He heard something slide against the floor harshly, then a soft apology afterwards. He assumed that it was a chair and made it no mind. What he was currently debating was whether to try and wake up, or try and go back to sleep. Did he have school today? Could he skip? He could make up any extra reading assignments, or just assignments in general.

“Is he awake yet?” Another voice appeared, and he’s wracking his brain to figure out who it was. 

“No, not yet.”

“Is it anything serious?”

“How serious is a brain injury?” He heard a bittersweet laugh, followed by a quiet sob. The voice seemed to be quite close. There was silence for a while, then some shuffling. 

“It’ll be okay, darling. We’ll get through this together.” The sobbing got louder.

。。。

“Hanbin, the faster you eat, the faster you can take your medicine and you can go out and play.” He glanced over his ‘salad’ of a lunch, back to his mother, then back at the plate. He almost wanted to gag on purpose just so they would accidentally think he’s allergic to vegetables and not make him eat it.

Recently, they found out that he was allergic to caffeine, which sounded so ridiculous to him. So being allergic to veggies wouldn’t be too far off, would it? “Hanbin, please. Just get it over with.” He sighed in resignation and ate up the rest of the food. “Thank you.”

He took his medication then wandered off into his bedroom so that he could grab his phone and headphones and head outside. It wasn’t sunny. But it wasn’t raining either, so he took that as ‘safe enough’ and exited the premises within the next minute.

Hanbin was advised not to run, but he could do some light jogging, if he so chose to do. He settled for just walking as he plugged in his headphones and turned on a random track off his Twenty One Pilots playlist. It was when he realized what the lyrics said when he started to think like he was in some kind of music video. It didn’t make sense, but he felt a little good about it.

He mouthed the lyrics, letting the words roll off his tongue every now and then, but he wasn’t concerned about it. He wasn’t going anywhere in particular either. He was already out of his neighborhood by the third track.

After a while, he stopped in his tracks. He was staring at an empty playground. It wasn’t anything special. It had swings, slides and the sand surrounding it. It looked so plain, but it made him feel so nostalgic. Before he knew it, his feet was taking him closer, and closer. He didn’t want to be here.

_Swinging._

He was swinging. It’s been a few years since he’s been on one of these. He wasn’t going fast, but he let himself feel the air crash onto his face and make it feel as dry as a desert. The sensation of going back down made his tummy tickle and he smiled. He was much taller than he used to be, so his feet ended up kicking away some sand. He swore that some of it had already gotten into his shoes somehow. 

The feeling was nice, and innocent. He let some five more songs play as he swung himself, all alone. Alessia Cara started to play and he fluttered his eyes closed for a little longer.

When he finally stopped the swing, his face slowly fell. He was staring at his converse high tops again. The sight made him feel a pang in his chest and it suddenly got hard to breathe. His grip on the chains got tighter. So much that he could smell the rusty metal passed his fingers.

Before he could stop himself, he was already starting to write ‘Jiwon’ in the sand, but stopped himself after ‘Jiw’. Why was he doing this to himself? Was he secretly a masochist? Did he need to have a deep conversation with himself to figure this out? He sighed.

The frustration hit him and Hanbin stopped himself before a tear could fall. He wasn’t about to cry in the exact same way he did three years ago. He wasn’t waiting for anybody to come anymore. He never waited for anyone to come that night. _Jiwon was not real._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. Yeah, this is where i change the tags and hope that whoever liked the first two chapters will stick around for the rest of the story ;;; 
> 
> Thank you for taking interest so far.
> 
> Kudos & Comments are highly appreciated ♡


	4. Chapter 4

Darkness. All he could see was darkness. His eyes were closed. English wasn’t as interesting as he used to think it was. He never read books for fun anymore. He would only do the bare minimum or just skim through.

“The exercise isn’t that hard. You can do it until the class is finished. If you don’t finish, it’s your homework.” The teacher told them, and there were groans from all sides. He heard pages turn to the page that was required and students already asking their friends for help. Hanbin hadn’t even opened his textbook yet. 

The exercise was easy, but that didn’t mean he was passionate about doing it. His handwriting was sloppy and uncentered. He was leaning on his left palm as he wrote, so it got slanted upwards a lot. It wasn’t like he was going to get less points for bad writing, as long as everything was right.

The bell rung after twenty minutes and everyone rushed to get up. Whoever was done would put their textbooks on the teacher’s desk, the rest took theirs home. Another book less off his back sounded like a good idea, so he quickly finished the last two questions and got off his seat. 

“Hey, Hanbin—” He stopped in his tracks. He turned around and saw Jennie wearing a bright pink shirt and a white pen skirt. She even dyed her hair light brown. “Are you free?”

Hanbin blinked a few times as he readjusted his backpack, “Yeah, I’m free.” He answered simply as the class filed out behind them. 

“Do you want to.. uhm.. watch a movie with me?” She gripped her backpack strap with both hands. “On Friday.. Or Saturday. Or even today. Whenever.” The grip tightened as she bit her lower lip.

“Sure. We can go tonight.” He said with a soft smile before putting his textbook on top of the pile and giving the girl a light pat on the head. Hanbin left soon after, passing by two wide-eyed girls. He heard screaming a few seconds later which made him wince. 

That night, he made it to the cinema quarter to eight, as informed by Jennie through text. His hair was down. It was the easiest hairstyle to handle after all. Black skinny’s and black shirt with a blue and white striped unbuttoned shirt over. His outfits were never complete without converse high tops. He probably had over a dozen pair stuffed in his closet.

“Hey, Hanbin.” The sweet voice rung through his ears, which quickly translated into the smile on his face. “Did you wait long?” He shook his head as he shyly looked to the floor. He put his hands into his pockets out of lack of knowledge over what he was supposed to do.

People passed by them without so much as a glance, but the employeescaught his eye and he fake coughed. “I guess we should go buy those tickets now.” Hanbin eventually suggested, following a nod of agreement as they walked side by side towards the queuing area.

。。。

He plopped onto his bed and flung an arm over his eyes. He was tired, but it wasn’t sleepiness, far from it. He tried to think of a song to sing, but nothing came out. A series of band names or titles popped up, but he couldn’t remember any lyrics.

Hanbin moved his body towards the center of the bed and spread all his limbs out, as if he were making a snow angel. He realized that he had never done that before. What a shame. He stared up at the ceiling. It was far too dark to even see the light bulb. There a bit of light shining from behind the curtains, but he wasn’t going to move.

He licked his lips and tasted the slightest bit of the salty popcorn they gave them instead of caramel. The coke turned out to be large instead of medium, and water got boring fast, so he shared the drink with Jennie. He fluttered his eyes closed.

“I’m falling again.. Baby, I’m yours.. Oh baby, I’m yours..” He kept thinking of a laugh to go with a vision. A beautiful smile that could possibly make a chain reaction. All he could see was bunny-like teeth which belonged to a pizza-loving boy. He smiled.

“Oh baby, I’m yours.” He sang again, still in a soft tone as it was getting late and he didn’t want to bother his parents. “I’m mad at you, for being so cute.” He saw those teeth again, followed by the sound of laughing, and a cheerful demeanor.

_“Are we going to the arcade after school?” The boy asked with his eyes closed. He hasn’t been eating lately, and even the promise of pizza wasn’t doing anything for him. Jiwon smiled at him and told him not to worry. He was exerting the same amount of energy as he had always done, but he wasn’t eating the same._

_“Can’t we just go to a cafe?” The arcade would make him use even more energy and he didn’t want the boy to pass out. Whenever they would go to an arcade, they would play almost everything they had to offer. If they had time, they would do it all twice._

_“That’s not fun. I want to play table hockey and street fighter.” He finally took a bite of his sandwich. “I’m gonna beat you again!” His eyes were open now, but just barely, as he laughed._

_Hanbin watched him, hoping that the boy wouldn’t choke on his food. Thankfully, he didn’t, but that was really risky. He wanted to call him out on it, but it might’ve stopped him from eating entirely. “No, I’m going to beat you.” He quickly responded._

_Jiwon laughed again. His front teeth were showing so visibly. Hanbin figured that it wasn’t normal, but Jiwon wasn’t normal. He never needed to be. He was perfect as he was. The way his eyes would disappear into crescents when he smiled was perfect. The way he would nudge him and make silly faces when he was sad was perfect. The way he would be late all the time, but never ignored him. The way he would get excited whenever Hanbin gave him his colored-in pages—_

_“Hey, are you listening?” Hanbin blinked rapidly to fall back into reality. He gulped at the sight of Jiwon pointing his half-eaten sandwich at him. In some cultures, that would’ve been rude. But he didn’t really know, and he didn’t dare say it._

_“Mortal Kombat.” He spat out without thinking, which apparently made the boy laugh out loud and shake his head. Hanbin felt embarrassed immediately. He wanted to take it all back and start over._

_“Ah, it doesn’t matter.” Jiwon was smiling so stupidly as he stared at his sandwich, as if it held all his happiness. Then he ate it. He ate all his happiness._

_Hanbin continued eating his own food in silence, but he swore he heard Jiwon say ‘you’re cute’ under his breath. It made him blush, regardless if it wasn’t actually towards him._

“Oh, I hate that I.. Spend my days, just wasting time.. Day dreaming 'til I see you again..” He turned onto his side and opened his eyes, only to be met with the edge of a shelf that was propped up on the wall he hadn’t seen in so long. It must be weird, but he never really looked at anything in his room for more than a five seconds.

_“Are you really letting me into your house?” Jiwon, wide-eyed and wonderful, asked in such an excited tone. There was no way he could’ve said no. That wasn’t his intention._

_Hanbin flashed him a smile and nodded. He couldn’t recall having had brought anyone else to his house. Maybe Donghyuk once, but they were only grabbing his notebook then left within two seconds. This was the first friend to really visit his house, and he was more excited than nervous. Probably the same as Jiwon in that moment._

_“My room is upstairs. So be careful.” He knew the boy had a knack for running around. He was always in a hurry, and Hanbin had to slow him down and hit pause. He had to be Jiwon’s speed bump more often than not._

_As soon as he got to his door, he stopped, turned back around, and stared at the boy. The eagerness to enter was just lathered all over his face. There was no hiding it, and yeah, he didn’t bother to. “My room probably isn’t as pretty as yours. So don’t laugh.” Jiwon seemed to laugh in advance._

_“My room is only pretty because of your pictures!” Hanbin’s cheeks soon became a light crimson color and the boy poked his cheeks playfully. “Come on, let me in.” He whined with his whole body. Hanbin moved over a second later and letting Jiwon enter._

_Hanbin had a lot of toys, and he allowed the boy to do whatever he wanted. Their plushies were safe on his bed, tucked under his bed covers. Jiwon said that they had to hug each other because they will be warmer and sleep better that way._

_The boy soon found interest in his bouncy ball. It was small, half orange and half transparent with a fake fish inside. He could never remember where he acquired it, but it was there and it was fun. The only issue was that Jiwon liked to bounce it really hard and it kept hitting the walls, table, closet, just about anything it happened to come in contact with._

_Unfortunately, it ended up knocking a couple of his books off the shelf before calming itself down and rolling under the bed. Hanbin was in a state of panic. Nothing looked broken, but he had never let that happen before and it was scary. Especially when the books fell and made a large thump._

He reached over for the bracelet that was only an inch away from falling. It reminded him of himself. But the tip of his finger touched it for only a moment and made it fall. Hanbin bent over and grabbed it off the floor. 

_Festival._

Hanbin stared at it for the longest time. He touched every inch of it, hoping that the wishes he made would come true. All the wishes he made for the past three years. “Please come true.” He whispered. He didn’t believe in anything in particular, but he prayed. He gripped the bracelet tightly for a moment, then the rush of panic washed over him when he realized that there was only one.

He swallowed hard. He never got the chance to give the other one to the boy. He never had the chance to. He won’t ever have the chance to. Because he wasn’t real. Jiwon was not real.

_Jiwon was not real._


End file.
